Happy 8th Birthday Bayvin!!

My first baby turns 8 today! I can't believe it, I feel so old!


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The iPhone

iPhones are really really awesome. Maybe I'll keep up with this more if I can update it from my iPhone!

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a long time

Again I lagged on the whole blog thing. It happens. I got more important things to do right? Like read! I've read a LOT in the last what, 6 months or so? Anyway.

I had the breast reduction surgery. 2 months later they're feeling more awesome, though there are still some hard spots and the scars are still red, but looking better. The pain wasn't as bad as I was expecting, but the recovery was harder than I thought it would be. Or maybe just longer. But I had issues.

I've never been totally under before and it was weird! They wheeled me into the surgery room and I hadn't had any drugs yet. I got up onto the surgery table and that's the last thing I remembered til I woke up. Which I thought I'd remember more, since they hadn't given me anything yet! I was very very happy when I woke up, everyone was my friend and I actually wanted to be incredibly nice to everyone. Gotta love drugs.

I hate drains, they're really gross and uncomfortable. I felt like I had the flu for a week, sorta, at least the whole body ache chill thing. Apparently that was from the drugs.

I had issues with my left nipple, apparently it lost circulation, the doc had to put regular stitches in it, unlike the underneath dissolving type ones he did everywhere else. So it scarred differently. And the t section of the scar didn't adhere together, so there was a big gaping hole there when he took out the stitches, really really grossed me out. But now it actually looks ok! It finally healed and the scab is off. Still has no feeling though, so dunno if I'll get that back.

Took about 6 weeks to actually be able to wear a regular bra. I can't wear underwire/push up bras yet. Mostly cause I'm fat and gotta lot of flab and they look horrible. So I should probably lose some weight, could be a good idea.

I got a lot less back pain now, its awesome. I can wear almost anything, I don't have to worry about my boobs falling out!

Bayvin is going into 3rd grade. Hopefully she'll do ok.
She's obsessed with the Jonas Brothers and Highschool Musical. We're going to see the Jonas Brothers in concert on August 4th. The other day Bayvin said she couldn't wait til highschool. I had to inform her that highschools didn't break out into song and dance like they do in the movies. She asked if I was sure.

Rowynn still talks a lot and we still can't always understand her. She's good at saying "no" now, but she says it when she means "yes" too. She's finally able to nod her head though. So she'll says no and nod her head. She was the highchair the other day and I said "I'll be right back, I gotta go get something to wipe off your face, kay?" and she said "kay" and just sat there til I got back. It was too cute. She's really liking Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin now. Even tries to say it. She LOVES wearing shoes. Always has to have a shoe on. Even puts them on herself, and most of the time on the right feet. She's got a bad habit now though, of pulling on her hair when she gets in trouble. Then I tell her not to pull on her hair its not nice, and she does it more... vicious cycle.

We all went to Great America last week. I think I only went on a couple rides, but it was so much fun in the water park area. There was a very very large pool that only went to 3 ft at the deepest part and Rowynn loved it. Just kept running though and when she couldn't run, she'd walk and just kept getting deeper and didn't care, she'd even fall under and not care. Like it was more of an inconvience. There was an area that has a lot of fountains and things that sprayed water, she even loved though and kept running through them. Loved seeing her have so much fun. Bayvin rode on the Demon, twice, she and her dad are "rollercoaster buddies". I dunno how she does it, they scare the crap out of me. She loves them.

So it seems...

... That every time I get good pictures of me with longish hair, I want to chop it all off. On the other hand, maybe its the seasons. When it gets close to summer I like to have shorter hair. My hair is so thick that in the summer I have to have it up all the time if its long or my neck is always soaking wet with sweat. Not to mention that having it up usually hurts my neck cause my hair is so heavy. Seriously, if I put my hair up in the pony tail, 8 hours later my hair is still wet underneath that pony tail. I remember in highschool putting it in a bun on top of my head and having to do a test in algebra/precalc/math class (in the morning) and my neck would get so sore and I was like, wtf, and then I would take my hair down and everything was fine. Kinda like my back at the moment. I pick up my boobs and magically its all better. I wish I wasn't serious :D

The last hair cut I got, I loved it! The seemed to have gotten the layers just perfect. Unfortunately I can't just go tell them to trim it, because shorter layers grow faster, so its just not the same anymore. So I have to find the picture that I used and hope that they get it right again. I think its been almost a year since I cut it.

Being a parent sucks these days. I'm really struggling with the holding Bayvin back thing. I don't know if she'll get over it, though maybe its just me that won't get over it. She seems to have a little group now, her, Sarah and Cameron. And if I hold her back I think it'll really ruin that. I'd like to think she'll just make friends and get over it, but I don't know for sure. She's already so sensitive. But is that more important than her learning. I want to think she'll just catch up, one day it'll just click ya know. I hate having to make these parental decisions that may or may not mess up her future. I don't want a 12 or 13 year old screaming at me that I held her back and ruined her life or something, ya know. I really needs to be able to see into the future damnit!

Rowynn on the other hand is doing awesome. Those molars are coming in great. She is an awesome eater. We went to Fresh Choice and she hate everything! Pasta, cherry tomatoes, cottage cheese, peas, corn bread, real mac n cheese, oranges, cantelope, though I was a bit nervous about that one, it was a little hard. She wants to eat carrots lately. I've let her take some bites but I still think they're too hard for her to chew. Maybe tonight I'll cook them and see if she'll eat them. Last time I tried cook carrots she didn't want to have anything to do with them. Her favorite food lately is fig newtons and the yogurt nutrigrain bars. And she loves the Strawberry Banana V8 Fusion juice. So I know she's getting lots of fruits and vegetables.

*At least we're both looking at the camera*

Updated...

Its been a very very long time since I've actually written in this thing. I decided to update the look, got bored, its my birthday and hubby had to go to bed early to go into work tomorrow. I don't update this thing much cause I mostly keep in contact with people through facebook. It just seems easier.

I've been reading a lot lately. Not as much time on the computer, mostly cause I can read while Rowynn plays and if I get on the computer while she's awake, most of the time she screams at me.

The last time I wrote in this thing Rowynn hadn't even been born yet. That's a long time, considering she's over 13 months old now. She's got almost 10 teeth, and in a few weeks she'll have 2 more. She talks a LOT, too bad we can't really understand what she says. Though we understand the "yeah" and "no" and lately she's been trying to say "nigh nigh". She doesn't say "mama" unless she's crying and its "ma ma ma ma ma ma". "Daaaaaad" she can say just fine, she'll run to him while saying it". She tries to say "more" and I think "Ba" is something to drink or eat. She loves to dance and seems to really enjoy the theme song to Phineaus and Ferb.

Bayvin is in 2nd grade and We're really struggling on whether or not to keep her back. Somedays everything seems to just click, but she can't do testing very well at all, most of her scores are incredibly low and one of the lowest in the class. She's gotten help with math and reading and I know it helps, but testing just doesn't show it. Her teacher thinks this is the last chance if we want to do it. In 3rd grade she thinks it'll be too hard socially. We're gonna discuss it again in May. The principal doesn't believe in holding kids back so it would definitely be our decision. I've talked to her about it and she doesn't want to stay back. So I'm even wondering if it would be a good idea socially now. I want to have faith that next year it'll just click or something. Her teacher keeps saying that its maturity that's slowing her down.

I'm getting a breast reduction June 2nd and I'm scared shitless. I'm worried about the pain and recovery. I'm sure it'll be totally worth it, but knowing that doesn't help much. Before Bayvin I was a 34 barely C. Now I'm a 38DD. It sucks when you can lift up your boobs and feel the weight lifting from your back and shoulders. The only unfortunate part about this, is that the doc says that they aren't that big, its a lot to do with the sagging. Lots of extra skin. My insurance will cover it, but for it to be considered a breast "reduction" he has to take at least 500grams from each which will make me about a full B. Smaller than I'd want to be, I was hoping for a C. But I can't afford a breast lift, so I have to deal with it. On the flip side, I'll never have to worry about them causing back pain again, and they'll be perky, won't necessarily have to wear a bra. I'll be able to wear built in bra tank tops again.

Today was my birthday. It was a pretty good day considering I turned 30. I got great presents, though my new video card isn't here yet, should be tomorrow. My parents already got me a great present when they were out here. A 50mm 1.8/f lens for my awesome Canon Rebel XS. I love it. Its taken such great pictures (those pics up top were taken with it). On saturday we're going up to Black Oak Casino and gonna go bowling and a little gambling, like we do every year on my birthday. I tried to do this year different but it didn't work out. And I haven't gotten that tattoo that I wanted to get when I turned 30.